Dream 39
I am lying down on the grass under Michael’s calf.
I came into this dream tired. I am tired in the physical realm and tired in the spiritual realm. I went to bed hoping that I would not dream but here I am, in the dream, awake and tired, staring at the sky.
Uriel walks into my view, blotting out the sun and casting a shadow over my face so that I can comfortably look at him.
As usual I cannot see his face clearly through the glory upon it, but I can make out the body language of someone who is on a mission so I get up.
Uriel waits for me to dust myself off and organize my clothes around me before speaking.
Uriel:
“You may ask any question.”
I am taken aback for a few seconds and ten thousand important questions flit through my mind but I settle for a selfish one.
Me:
“Why me? I know that Builder explained that it was because I love the word and I am creative but surely there are millions of people like that? Why me? I don’t even believe in Angels and actually think that you guys are figments of my imagination being used by the Holy Spirit to teach me stuff.”
Uriel:
“For that exact reason son of sorrow. We are not to be worshiped or used as proof of God’s favor upon a man or a church service. We are assigned to the kingdom and all within it. We are servants as you are servants.
You are chosen for this task because you do not need to believe in us to obey what we say. You are chosen because every morning you wake up and check the scriptures to see if we speak the truth. It is your stubborn refusal to worship or bow to us that makes it easy for us to convey what the Holy Spirit wants conveyed.
Yes, your creativity and love for the word are important keys and yes, Builder and Gatherer have worked carefully to give you experience well beyond the age of your flesh. But we are able to communicate the will of the Father because you have no desire for life other than obedience to Him and you struggle daily with your faith even that God is real, yet you submit to the words of the son without question.”
Me:
“So you are saying it is because I am a highly creative yet obedient skeptic who believes that you are a figment of my imagination?”
Uriel:
“You hide nothing and embellish nothing. You no longer desire attention from man and you have no patience for lies. These are very important things son of sorrow.
For you were completely driven by recognition from man and a desire for vindication and justice. You were selfish and arrogant but now you are ready to simply be a courier. Even these childish desires of yours to be someone special will die off soon enough.”
Me:
“Of course I want to be someone special. That’s why I figured I was concocting these dreams. I mean, think about it: Most of what is written each day could well be me trying to manipulate people into following my version of Christianity and people go nuts when they hear that you are talking to Angels. That makes me either very crazy in some people’s eyes or very special to others.”
Uriel:
“All that matters is your obedience to record all that you see. Your desire to be someone special is what has brought you to a place where you can be used as courier. But know that you are just a courier. There have been many couriers before you, there are many couriers now and there will be many after you. It is a fairly common calling.”
Me:
“If you wanted to take the wind out of my sails you have done a great job.”
Uriel:
“Does my frankness matter to you? Does knowing that you are not special affect your desire to obey the Holy Spirit?”
Me:
“No, just my ego.”
Uriel:
“All are special to the Father. There is no task more important than any other and every assignment is given based on competence and obedience. For a man to be considered more important to the Father than another man because of a specific set of talents would contest against love. For the Father is love and love does not exclude or favor. You are all favored but only the obedient reap the fruit of that favor.”
Me:
“So couriers are generally borderline atheists who have a history of hating God and His church yet are still obedient to his commands? I have spent more than half my life serving a God that I doubted. Now I am seeing Angels in my sleep and relaying instructions to the body of Christ?”
Uriel:
“There are many different paths to the calling of courier. There is no set criteria. Even a donkey was used to speak to Balaam. As long as the message is pure and you do not hunger for glory because of it, you qualify. Man measures you by their mete stick which lacks perspective and does not see the heart. The Father sees all and he has always seen your brokeness and loneliness. You are not just chosen for the kingdom but you are chosen so that you may witness first hand that you are not alone in your hunger to see heaven upon earth. You are chosen because this vision will not only bring healing to the body of Christ but also to you.”
As he speaks I realize how lonely I have felt my entire life. I have been loved by many and trusted by many, loved by God and anointed by God. Still I have felt lonely and only since writing these dreams have I begun to feel a suspicion that my loneliness is the effect of the spirit of mammon.
I have equated provision from God with love from God and provision from man with love from man and because I have struggled financially for most of my life, trying to spread the gospel with ‘never enough’ resources.
I have determined my belief in the existence of God by whether or not he provides.
I have felt rejected by Him when He did not bail me out of financial trouble and doubted His existence because it felt like my prayers hit an empty sky.
I have hated him for blessing selfish people with riches while those of us who toil at His command among the poor and the broken work in constant lack.
Even now, as I record this dream am I tempted to take the deal offered by the principality.
I am instructed to write all that I experience so that you who read it may know every detail, but as I write this I expect judgement and criticism because that is just how the body is. For me it is easier to find a needle in a haystack than a generous, loving Christian who will allow you to be honest without dumping their legalistic loveless opinion on you.
Those who are generous and loving are such revelation to me that I am fascinated by them and these past 39 days I have met many! (Praise God!!)
Me:
“I still don’t quite understand why me but I accept it and will be obedient for as long as I can. Sharing this stuff so honestly makes me very vulnerable, is this part of the plan?”
Builder:
“Many hide their true feelings and doubts, becoming like whitewashed tombstones who are impressive on the outside but rotting from within. They do this because they fear the humiliation and shame of public repentance.
In sharing every insecurity, you heal not only yourself but also bring healing to all who read what is written.
For that which is hidden in the dark shall multiply in the darkness and that which comes to the light will be healed.
This is why you are to share every fear and every doubt so that all who read will realize that the Father loves them regardless of their fear and sin. For you overcome the enemy with the word of your testimonies and The blood of the lamb.
You must remain honest about your fears and insecurities son of sorrow. For many lead lives that are not honest. And many follow their example. And soon they are no longer able to distinguish between faith and lie. Meanwhile their fears froth and bubble inside of them, limiting the great call upon their lives.
For fear will paralyze the greatest warrior if it is not dealt with on the spot.
And upon revealing your weakness are you strong!
For you are a body and you are a kingdom and you are strong together. You are chosen for this particular task as many are chosen for their tasks and all are expected to be transparent so that those who follow may walk in honesty and truth and hold one another up in prayer and heal what may be broken.
Many may covet this responsibility, to dream dreams and see visions as you covet other ministries. And many do not believe the words given here as from God. But all will respond to transparency and brokeness.
Heed now the words of Gatherer.”
Gatherer:
“Transparency and honesty are the mechanisms that divide wheat from chaff. For those who hide nothing are embraced by those who hide nothing. And those who project the counterfeit are embraced by those who project the counterfeit.
And so pretending to be something perfect do they attract counterfeit perfection and celebrate that counterfeit spirit which is the spirit of mammon.
Heed these words son of sorrow:
Those who love you with your sin have the heart of the Father and the mind of the son. For love covers s multitude of sins. And when your sin and folly are in the light, those who love you can help you. But to project the counterfeit draws only liars and impostors.
You are chosen for this task because you so earnestly desire to be one and we are one and the path to unity with the son is to be crucified daily with the son.
Indeed, your flesh contends against the word daily and must be brought into submission daily.
You are chosen for this task because you are so broken that you no longer have the strength to project the counterfeit. And all who desire to see these dreams must be willing to pay the price so that they may be in this same place.
Know that wholeness of flesh does not translate to wholeness of spirit.
And those who walk in counterfeit wholeness are an abomination in the spirit for they are of the flesh and driven by arrogance and stubborn pride.
Indeed, they create foolish disciples in their own image, all whitewashed tombstones with no love and no revelation of the son.
We speak to them all. And the Holy Spirit speaks to them all but most will not listen to any voice, God, man or Angel that instructs them to drop their act and become vulnerable.
For many are called but few answer.
All are special to the Father regardless and the Holy Spirit eagerly desires communion with every saint.
Even though you doubt what you see each night, must you continue to diligently record it. For much healing will come to all who read this.
There is one kingdom and one king!
The kingdom is all.”
Me:
“The kingdom is all!”
I wake up.