Dream 92
I am under the lighthouse, suffocating.
While I was sleeping on the rock, those pulling the bodies out of the sea thought me dead and started piling the other dead bodies on top of me.
The weight is so much that I cannot move my arms or legs. I can hardly breathe in my current position, lying on my shoulder, so I shift a bit and am forced onto my back by the weight of all the bodies above me. The weight is so much that my chest can no longer move up and down to breathe. I start to suffocate and hyperventilate at the same time as claustrophobic panic sets in. It feels like eternity passes before a huge hand reaches in and yanks me out of the pile of bodies. Gatherer lets go of my hand and waits for me to catch my breath.
Gatherer:
“You cannot help the dead. You can only help the living.”
Me:
“Wow! You came up with that one all by yourself?”
Gatherer:
“The past cannot be changed. Not even one moment that has passed can be changed. As the dead have moved on, so has the past.”
Me:
“Memories have a lot of power Gatherer. They tell you what the world is really like and how cruel and heartless humanity truly is.”
Gatherer:
“Those who look at the former see what was and what is. You are not expected to change what was or even change what is. You are expected to create something entirely new.”
Me:
“But the present cannot be ignored. Or are you also blinded to the rape, lack and injustice that occurs across the bridge?”
Gatherer:
“You cannot change what was or what is. You can only create something new.
Can you even bear the weight of the knowledge of what is son of sorrow?
Can you stay joyful in your work if your work forces you to look upon that which cannot be changed?
Create something new. Complete your assignment. Or do you prefer to feel bitter and frustrated?”
Me:
“I am sick to my stomach of this bitterness and frustration. But how do I create something new? I lose more and more hope in humanity each day. They don’t want God, not even the believers want God. They want mammon. They want luxury and ease and they don’t care about who starves or dies or is raped or murdered. As long as they can live in luxury they are happy. They even preach it from their pulpits. Look at them with their multiple homes and vehicles and huge savings. How am I supposed to be ok with this kind of selfishness? They despise people like me and I despise people like them.
Oh God. I curse the day I was born to this hell. And I curse the day I was awoken to see what mankind truly is. A selfish virus that cares for nothing but self.
HOW ARE CHRISTIANS OK WITH POVERTY????
Answer me this Gatherer: How is it ok to focus on making disciples and worship God with song and dance and if you still do not care about your fellow-man?
How is this even remotely the heart of God? If God is love, why are is children not filled with it? How are we as children of God not completely consumed with good works among the poor and oppressed?
THEY EVEN PREACH AGAINST GOOD WORKS!!!
What the heck man?
You have me on this property praying and fasting and the more I see these visions, the angrier I get. Get some other fool to do this and let me die as I wanted to for those ten years.
This planet deserves the hell that it is. Humanity does not deserve grace or mercy. We are a virus that should be wiped out.”
The beam of the lighthouse swings around like a propeller in the distance above my head.
I seethe with impotent frustration and tears stream down my face as I let it all out.
Me:
“So few people care. And they who care are worked so hard that they usually slip into hopeless depression. Curse this planet. Curse humanity and curse Christians who should know better but willfully turn a blind eye.”
Gatherer:
“Leave the judgment to the Father. Soon shall sheep and goats be separated but this is not your concern. Do you see how that which was and that which is pours poison into your soul?
It causes you to paint all of humanity with the same brush. Take your eyes off what was and what is. The past and present cannot be changed. Take up your assignment and create something new.
Millions will follow, only create something new.
Do as you are shown in these dreams and visions. Create something new.”
Me:
“Isaiah 43:18-19 – Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
I know this scripture.”
Gatherer:
“Millions feel as you do but are trapped within the systems of mammon and are lead by false prophets. They eagerly desire the kingdom and eagerly desire to help. But their hands are tied to visions of greed and lust.
Create something new. Do this new thing. Do not concern yourself with the opinions of those in power. Turn your back on all that is and all that was.
Do this new thing son of sorrow. Rejoice in it. You shall soon see how wonderful the hearts of the believers are. Do not look backwards and do not look at the present.
Do this new thing.
As the Son separates the sheep from the Goats, so shall this new thing do the same.
Make the vision plain, do a new thing and do not concern yourself with what was and what is.”
I look at the growing pile of bodies behind me.
Gatherer:
“You cannot change what is. Change what is to come. Do this new thing and you shall see these horrors no more. Make the vision plain, build this city that manifests the heart of the kingdom of God. Teach those who will listen to obey the commands of the son and dust your shoes off when they refuse to hear. Do not entertain the contention of those who stand for what was and what is. Do this new thing.
You and all who will follow were born for this time. You were set apart and anointed for this task.
Clear your heart and do this new thing.
The kingdom is all son of sorrow.
His kingdom come, His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Not one must perish son of sorrow, not one!”
Me:
“May the Holy Spirit grant me the power to focus on what is to come. I pray for a new heart. A heart that sees only what is to come and not what has passed.”
Uriel now stands beside us under the lighthouse.
Uriel:
“The Gatherer shall silence the tongues of all who seek to remind you of what has passed and what is current. Focus only upon your assignment son of sorrow. Do not hold an entire generation captive for what has passed. And do not blame the entire body of Christ for what is current. Do this new thing as instructed and you shall shake the very foundations of earth. All who stand with you shall be as catalysts, fire starters who will birth the greatest movement in the history of mankind. Only stay the course and do not deviate to the left or the right.
Those who come to you and lay down their lives shall be surrounded with much peace and joy but all must carry this burden with you.”
Me:
“What of my outbursts of frustration and my brokenness? Will I ever heal? Will the weight of what is ever lift from my shoulders?”
Uriel:
“Those around you will carry the weight of your sorrow. And you shall have peace and joy but the burden will never lift, nor shall the sorrow. Without it you will forget the gravity of your assignment.
Record all that you are instructed and make the vision plain. Those around you will lift your arms and give you much reason to rejoice.
Trust the helpers. None are there to hurt you.
Only focus on what is to come and take your eyes off what was and what is.
The kingdom is all son of sorrow.”
Me:
“The kingdom is all.”
I wake up.