Dream 74
Woke up at exactly 03:33 again this morning. Not sure what it means but it seems important.
Dream 74
I stand before two bridges over a wide, rushing river.
The first bridge is very thin and crosses the river to a kingdom to the right.
The second bridge is very wide and crosses the river to a kingdom to the left.
I stand in a kingdom where financial success is everything. Here money determines your social worth and your self-worth. In this kingdom, those without money are left to starve, grow cold and be homeless.
Those with money have a lot of power. They live like kings and buy up the land of the poor when the poor fall upon hard times.
It is a kingdom where conscience is always second to profit and personal gain.
Both bridges leading out of this place have a sign:
The first sign reads: ‘Intention’
A man in an expensive suit stands beside a shiny car and tells me to join his church. He explains how cool and modern it is and how it is the fastest growing, most radical church with the best praise and worship in the world.
His wife joins him and holds his hand. They both look incredible and I can’t help but notice that she has had breast implants. I get embarrassed and look away. Wondering why such things still draw my attention.
They chat to me about their church and I love their outgoing, sparky personalities. They communicate so well and lovingly maintain eye contact. I really want to be friends with them, they are such wonderful people and when either of them gives me attention, it feels like the sun shining on my face.
He hands me a pamphlet with a photo of himself and his wife, well-lit praise and worship and a stunning church building in the background. We chat about it for a while before I notice a man standing under the sign by the second bridge.
The second sign reads: ‘Obedience’
The man is dressed in clothes you might purchase at a cheap clothing store and his shoes are good quality walking shoes.
He asks me how I am doing. I tell him that I am fine. He asks me again. I tell him that I am fine. He asks me a third time an I tell him that I am tired.
The man asks me why I took so long to tell the truth. I tell him that it is because nobody really cares about the answer to that question. ‘How are you’ is just a greeting, not actually a question.
Me:
“You are obviously not from around here. In this place, the only people who actually want to tell you the truth when they ask how you are doing are those who charge money for it. It is very rare to find someone who actually cares. This kingdom is about external appearance and most things in relationships are a negotiation or something akin to symbioses.”
He nods sadly. “The kingdom of never enough is indeed a cold and a hard place to live.”
Me:
“Yes, it is as if the citizens of this place walk in a half dead state of being. Only to awaken from time to time for social gatherings with temporary laughter and temporary feelings of goodwill with it.”
Man from obedience:
“In a place such as this it is very hard to walk in humility, for humility drawers subjugation. There is much pain in a kingdom where weakness is trampled and not healed. Here you are forced to hide your weakness lest it be used against you. Healing both soul and spirit are extremely challenging in this kingdom.
Healing is only possible where there is repentance and transparency. But in place like this, such things are seen as exploitable vulnerability. Here are the leaders are not transparent and that which is not transparent is not trustworthy for that which is hidden in the darkness fears the light and those who have nothing to hide hide nothing but those who hide much fear everything.”
Me:
“The problem with transparency is that it leads to loss of social standing. And in a kingdom like this one, social standing is everything. It is then a very wise decision to play your cards close to your chest so that you are not exposed to your enemies. This forces you to never deal with your emotional weaknesses. You end up compartmentalizing your pain and walking until you finally crack or brutally dispatching anyone who hurts you. One way you hide your pain and pretend all is fine. The other way you destroy every perceived enemy.”
Man from Obedience:
“Both for the sake of appearance, neither bring healing. Both sell a lie, neither are love.”
Me:
“Who are you? You seem to have much wisdom!”
Man from Obedience:
“I am but a broken man who has failed much at life. I have let many people down and I have hurt many people, I have many regrets but I am grateful for the grace of the son of God that I am declared righteous despite my failings and my foolishness. For me there is only Jesus. It is my hope that the Holy Spirit works through me to bring others across this bridge.”
Me:
It is truly a pity that such transparency and humility do not gain a bigger following in this kingdom. For in this kingdom people follow winners and only winners are celebrated. Here the word of a winner is elevated even above the word of God for here winners are quoted more often than Jesus is. Someone with your humility would be branded a loser or a failure and sadly this kingdom scorns such people.”
The pastor from intention listens to the conversation for a while and then speaks. He is very confident and eloquent.
Pastor from intention:
“There are no losers in the kingdom of God. The weak must declare that they are strong, we are to do mighty exploits and be strong and courageous. Christians are not crybabies, we are powerful, confident saints of God. The world desires to join our church because we are a church of winners who walk in the full knowledge of who we are as sons of the living God! We are created in the image of God with the mind of Christ! We are powerful beyond measure. Hallelujah brothers, nothing is impossible for he who believes! Only believe! Why does the man at the bridge to obedience confess that he is a loser? Does he wish to stay a loser? James describes the tongue as a rudder that controls your life. Change your words and you change your life!
You are a winner! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! Rise up and let go of the past, there is an incredible future waiting for you!”
I am caught up by his incredibly motivating message and I smile and lift my hand and say ‘Amen!’
The man from Obedience smiles too but says nothing.
Seeing that his speech has had little effect on the man from Obedience, the man from Intention turns to me.
Man from Intention::
“Some seed falls on hard ground. But do your best to join us tonight! See you later, you look like a good guy!”
Gatherer stands beside me and speaks:
Gatherer:
“Take the bridge to the counterfeit kingdom so that you may see what lies there. For this is where your greatest question shall be answered.”
Me:
“My greatest question?”
Gatherer:
“Is God real.”
Me:
“Sheesh! I think that is everyone’s greatest question.”
Gatherer:
“The same answer will not be relevant to all, only to those who share your pain.”
We walk across the bridge and cross into the kingdom of intention.
Gatherer:
“Know this son of sorrow. The man from intention is who you were. The man from Obedience is who you are becoming.”
We walk into the kingdom of intention. Churches are in every corner, some old and beautiful, works of art from anther era. Some new and modern, designed to attract forward thinkers.
I marvel at both types and enjoy the sense of holiness in the old church buildings as well as the technological coolness in the new church buildings. Some are empty, some have many seats but few congregants, some are filled to capacity.
We walk past a beautiful, modern church with a big sign board outside. It has the faces of the pastor and his wife on the billboard and we head to the entrance where we are met by friendly young people who excitedly usher us inside. The huge auditorium is packed to capacity. The worship and accompanying visuals are incredible. The message from the pastor makes me want to jump up and change the world. He even makes eye contact with me once or twice. His jokes are funny but his message is impacting.
I love every moment and walk out after the service in a great mood.
Gatherer:
“That is who you were.”
Me:
“I should have stayed me then! I feel great after that service. Wow!”
Gatherer:
“Tell me son of sorrow. What did you learn from that exciting service today?”
Me:
“That I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and that I can run and not grow weary! And that I need to invite others to church so that they can also know this stuff!”
Gatherer:
“And what are you thinking about right now?”
Me:
“That I wish we had church like that every day!”
Gatherer nods and we walk to the other side of town where a bridge leads to Obedience. The man from earlier sits there and is glad to see us.
Man from Obedience:
“Hello again! How are you!”
Me:
“I am great thank you. We just came from an incredibly motivating church service. I feel fired up for what God wants to do!”
Man from Obedience:
“That is wonderful to hear! Do you feel like a winner?”
Me:
“I do. I feel like anything is possible!”
Suddenly two days pass as we stand there and the motions of life buzz around us in fast forward.
Man from Obedience:
“How do you feel today?”
I have been taught to speak in faith so I don’t want to tell him how tired and nervous I feel so ai give my standard answer: “I’m good thanks. God is great!”
Man from Obedience:
“I would like to pray for your needs dear friend. Do you have any?”
I want to appear strong as a man of God so I lie.
Me: “Let’s pray together for lost souls to get saved, I am great!”
Man from Obedience:
“Can you not see that you yourself are lost? You hide your fears and concerns behind this false mask of counterfeit confidence just as they do in the kingdom of never enough. How are you to learn and grow if you cannot admit your failings.”
Me:
“I walk by faith, I speak faith. My lips carry the word of God!”
Man from Obedience:
“So faith is to lie and to be a man of faith is to be a liar?”
Me:
“No, I am calling those things that be not just as though they were!”
Man from Obedience:
“You are compartmentalizing your fears and shutting God out by not letting him heal them. Faith is moving forward in spite of fear, not ignoring it. Tell me friend, do you still feel as motivated as on Sunday when you left the church service? Or do your fears and concerns bubble beneath the surface, hidden behind this false mask of commercial faith?”
I keep quiet. I do not like where this conversation is going.
Man from Obedience:
“If you cannot be vulnerable with God or the saints of God, you will become bitter and frustrated and seek to either control or reject them. And in your frustration shall you demand of God that He must submit to your faith. And in not submitting to your faith shall you reject God as real and settle in to a religious pattern, allowing that motivational speaker to become your God. There is no difference between the old churches and the new ones. They may worship and preach differently but all intend to build the church by building their church. And every church here is filled with nothing but good intention based on the gospel of mammon, which is the gospel of never enough.
Here you will never give enough, here you will never have enough, here your faith will never be enough for there are no winners in a world where some starve while others eat in palaces.
The kingdom of intention is populated by those who think that the objectives of the gospel are a good life and accomplished personal dreams.
The praise and worship is wonderful, like a night out at a concert for those in the world. But it is your body that is needed as a sacrifice, not just your voice or raised hands once a week.
If you truly wish to worship God, offer not only a few songs on Sunday, but everything that you are and everything that you have to advance everything that is the kingdom.
You cannot cross this narrow bridge with any worldly possessions friend. Nor can you cross it with false bluster and counterfeit faith.
The purpose of is obedience to God for the expansion of His kingdom. The abuse of this same faith is to become a winner and a champion to impress the citizens of the kingdom of mammon.
In doing this, your leaders cannot confess their sins, nor can they share their vulnerability and as a result of this bluster do they lead millions of well intentioned saints into the valley of depression where hope is deferred over and over. And chasing shiny trinkets with false confidence do they forget about the poor and the truly lost. For shiny trinkets become more important than broken homes and God becomes a heartless, deaf and blind tyrant to all but those in the winners club where social standing is more important than bringing heaven to earth where earth is hell.
For the very hands of God are tied by the free will of their disobedience for we are His hands.
Tell me friend, how is the world to be healed if they cannot tell you that they are sick? And how are broken hearts to be mended if they may not tell you they are broken? Verily you have taken faith and made it a curse upon those who are weak so that you may surround yourself with those who are strong. And you have divided the world into winners and losers and even the body into winners and losers. And with your gospel of winners only you have rejected the losers when Christ came for the losers and laid down His very life so that they may be saved.
Repent now for this false bluster and for this ritual behind which you hide your own fears.
Old church or new church, none are perfect. All have sinned and all fall short and all must walk in humility, repenting when they fall and transparent with their fears.
Do this, be humble and God shall lift you up and you shall know true peace and sense His presence daily with you.
And never shall you doubt His presence. For He is not in the building nor is He in the false perfection of your false Kings who so blatantly promote themselves as His servants. No, the Holy Spirit is comforter and He is in your brokeness and and your humility and He will heal every hurt and restore every broken heart.
Now tell me friend.
How are you feeling today? Drop the act and I shall pray with you.”
Me:
“I am nervous and tired but very hopeful that this vision shall come to pass. I have seen much that says God does not care or does not exist but through these dreams I am beginning to realize that all that God wishes to accomplish is done through His body. Even so, with these incredible dreams and with that revelation, I am still a little bit nervous that this is all my imagination. A big part of me wishes he could be that motivational speaker with the dynamic church but a bigger part of me wishes to be content in whichever assignment I am given.
Another part of me wishes eternal, dreamless sleep. For I have seen so much to cause doubt about the redemption of mankind. I believe and hope beyond hope that this dream shall come to pass but mostly I just go through the motions of dreaming and capturing, constantly fending off disappointment in how the land was not purchased before my arrival. I wanted it so badly and truly believed that all three pieces of land would be paid for. I sit here obediently recording what I hear and see, while a two month countdown timer plays backwards for my expulsion of this land.
If I set up a tent and became that motivational version of me, I would raise the money and manpower very quickly. But I am only instructed to dream and record and it is the biggest test of my life. To trust God so keenly when I have doubted His existence for so long is a level of faith that I did not know existed.
Now my doubts and fears are exposed to all who read this and the once mighty man of God image that I built up so well over so many years is destroyed even further.
I hope this is all God and not me going nuts.
This is how I feel.”
Man from Obedience:
“Good, now we all know what to pray for and we all know where to lend our energy. The kingdom of God is not a place to walk alone friend. You are not alone, do not make yourself so.”
Gatherer:
“Awaken now son of sorrow. When next you dream shall we cross this bridge into the kingdom of Obedience and there shall you see much power and freedom! Rejoice, for this is the year of the Lord’s favor!
The kingdom is all!”
I wake up.