I watch a small dog hurtle past me into the tall grass ahead of me and hear what sounds like a vicious fight. The fight spills from the long grass into the path ahead and I see the dog violently shaking a snake just below its head. The little terrier rips and shreds the snake until there is nothing but pieces of a once dangerous head and the end to the sudden violence leaves a deathly silence as the little dog trots up to me, friendly, blood splattered, tongue lolling to one side comically as if this vicious display of lethal aggression were just another fun game that cute, cuddly dogs play.
Gatherer, two heads taller than a I, the archangel that separates wheat from chaff and sheep from goats, the one the demons call ‘Reaper’, angel of death – that very angel, one of four companions these four months, stands beside me observing what just occurred and finally speaks.
Gatherer:
“The dog commits to full violent aggression because it knows that one bite from that snake will kill it.”
He lets his words sink in for a while before continuing.
Gatherer:
“The great serpent comes to kill, steal and destroy. Yet you (plural) play with him as if his bite were harmless. Thus you (plural) are bitten and poisoned and begin to handle sin with gentle hands and soft gloves in the hope that you may tame it as a snake handler tames a snake.
Know this son of sorrow:
There are six great serpents that wrap themselves around the heart of man so that his blood may run with their venom, and one great serpent who leads them all.
The serpent of Accusation
The serpent of Bitterness
The serpent of Shame
The serpent of Rejection
The serpent of Jealousy
The serpent of Fear
The great serpent of Satan who leads them all.
Their venom makes man blind without effecting his eyes, and deaf without effecting his ears, and hardens his heart without killing him, and turns the blood in his veins ice cold so that love may be far from him.
Truly cold son of sorrow. So that mammon may take root and so that trinkets may be more important than mankind. Blind son of sorrow, blind to the suffering of the world so that millions of children may suffer right before them and they might see nothing.
The venom seeps into the heart so that brother may accuse brother and even churches accuse churches. And over slights and petty differences that mean nothing in the kingdom do great divides come.
Venom that makes men tired of each other and brings division on so large a scale that ten small churches may take up one block and jealously avoid one another for fear of losing members or finances. The same with families, ripped apart by bitterness, accusation and shame.
Yet you (plural) do not see these snakes for what they are. A venomous danger that must be violently dealt with.
This is why the kingdom of god is a violent place, taken by force by men and women of singular purpose. Because those who do not deal violently with the serpents within their own spirits are nothing but witless victims surrendering control of their destinies as Eve surrendered control of hers.”
Gatherer turn towards me and suddenly reaches into my chest to pull a seething mass of squirming darkness. A head forms and hisses at me threateningly and I jump back in shock.
Gatherer:
“Behold, YOUR serpent of bitterness!”
Me:
“It’s not my…”
The words freeze in mouth as I see strands of darkness from the squirming abomination to my chest. Like umbilical cords drawing life from my very soul.
My mouth drops open in shock. I simply stand there staring at yet another thing that I have allowed to take root in my heart.
Gatherer:
“Lend your ear to what flows from this serpent’s mouth son of sorrow.”
I lean forward a bit listen to the hissing and whispering and begin to recognize names. It is hissing names. Every person that has ever hurt me – pastors, leaders, teachers, friends, family – every person that has humiliated me… over and over and over again, the serpent hisses their names with cold consistency, chilling me to the bone and filling me with shame.
Me:
“Gatherer! I suddenly feel so ashamed, so naked, my godlessness borne before all of mankind. I am a bitter accuser, self righteous and arrogant, I deserve to die. I deserve to have the very breath snatch from my lungs for lying to all around me about my motives for the kingdom. It has been all about proving myself worthy and proving my critics to be liars. I have been driven by anger, separating myself from the kingdom out of bitter frustration. How many have I led astray with my dark motives? How many have I…”
Gatherer interrupts me with a shout that sounds like thunder.
Gatherer:
“NONE son of sorrow. You have led NONE astray!”
He reaches into my chest with his other hand to pull another seething mass of darkness.
Gatherer:
“Behold the serpent of shame!”
It squirms and hisses, snapping and biting at the air, fighting to get back into my chest. I can’t believe what I am seeing. Six hours of prayer every day for two months so far, angelic visitation and dreams for four months, twenty years of ministry and such vile things reside within me. I can only stand there and blink rapidly as the seething mass continues to pour out the dialog that I had previously begun. My unworthiness, my failures, how people see me, my fear of confrontation, my disloyalty… all pour from the lips of this serpent while the other one lists the names of every person that has let me down.
The friendly man appears beside Gatherer and takes the serpent of shame from him. It immediately begins to wriggle violently, biting and snapping my shame into the face of the Lord of hosts.
Friendly man:
“I can deal with this one for you.”
He smiles and closes his hand, effortlessly crushing my shame in one quick motion.
My lungs suddenly expand. Breath flooding my spirit as never before. Confidence and renewed focus flood my being and I suddenly stand taller, regarding the squirming mass in Gatherer’s hand.
Friendly man:
“You shall trample on serpents and scorpions, do some trampling Courier.”
I don’t wait for a second command. My hand shoots out and grabs the seething mass in Gatherer’s hand and the serpent begins to spit and bite at me.
With unspent rage and such violence that I never knew existed within me, I begin to squeeze the life out of the serpent in my hand and feel scales and muscle begin to crack and pop as I crush it’s head with my bare hand. I drop it to the floor and stamp on its head until the body stops squirming.
And the weight of a thousand worlds lifts off my shoulders.
I look into the friendly man’s eyes and he smiles at me.
Friendly man:
“Think about what just happened Courier. We will talk again.”
I take a deep breath to say something but I wake up.
I guess this conversation is to be continued. Hahaha.