Dream 164

The intersecting grid is still before me. Each thread is the path of my life or someone else’s life.
I stand lost in thought for a while before I ask my first question.
Me:
“You refer to special agents that are sent into places where much grace is required. Are their lives pre-ordained? Is there a pre-planned, pre-ordained path for some and free will for others? Is it all predestination or completely free will; or do both paths exist?
Do some choose to suffer?”
Uriel:
“You were all intimate with the Father even before your birth, and set apart and anointed with every necessary talent, personality type and environment for the fulfilment of your agreed assignment.
Every step from birth is choice, for free will is the center of love and every action must be an action of your own choosing. Even the circumstance into which you are born is of your own choosing. All choose their own assignments and all choose to confirm love or contend against love as Lucifer chose.”
Me:
“So many of those born into poverty chose to die of starvation? How does that work?”

Uriel:
“All who are born into extreme poverty or antichrist areas do so with great humility and at great risk. There is no greater love than to lay your life down for a brother. They choose to enter the world in the small chance that they would survive persecution and indoctrination to become a light in the darkness and advance the kingdom of God.”

Me:
“That is crazy! Who would willingly be born to possibly die of starvation before they can even walk?”

Uriel:
“Such truths are hard to receive when your life is governed by the lusts of mammon. Mankind is not created selfish son of sorrow.
Every spirit begins as a selfless spirit and decides to confirm love or contend against love during its time on earth.
Know this son of sorrow: Hardship and luxury have no bearing on the eternal choices of man. Each spirit chooses for itself as each spirit is exposed to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and the tree of life. Those who submit to the laws of God that are written upon their hearts will confirm love, those who do not submit will contend against it. You will know them by their fruit, by how they love one another.
Every soul upon this earth comes to answer a challenge, every soul is an answer to a problem. If you accept this reality, you will understand the purpose of the seven spirits, the gifts of the spirit, the five-fold ministries, the fruit of the spirit and the Holy Spirit. You are here as caretakers, shepherds, doctors and every other assignment that is required to steward all of creation.”
Me:
“So man is supposed to be the caretakers of creation?”
Uriel:
“So much more than that son of sorrow. Friends of God, friends to one another, friends of angels and caretakers of creation. But every action and thought must be of your own choosing; This so that you take ownership of all that you have been assigned to steward. From the moment the embryo is fertilized, the breath of God enters your body and your spirit follows. You are a piece of God assigned to steward the work of God. God is love and every assignment is an assignment of love.
But many choose to rebel against love and thus by default rebel against their assignments. Many challenges occur that may sway the very core of your belief system. It is in the midst of those challenges that the heart is truly tested. For there shall you choose self or mankind. Self or God. Self or assignment.
To serve you brother is to serve the son. To love your brother is to love the son. To feed your brother is to feed the son. To take care of nature is to take care of the son. We are all one. All exist by the pleasure of God and all share the breath of God.”
Me:
“Wow! That is incredible!”
Uriel:
“The kingdom is all, every assignment to the kingdom is an assignment to all of creation, every act of selfless love is a kingdom act.”
Uriel now turns to me and places his hand upon my shoulder.
Uriel:
“You are spirit son of sorrow, you are the breath of God, you are a piece of God. You cannot love one another without loving God and you cannot hurt one another without hurting God. If this revelation dawns upon you, you will speak very differently and act very differently.
It is only through the son that you are seated on the throne on the right hand of God.
Come now son of sorrow, tell me who you are. Speak with the power of the Holy Spirit, the seven spirits that are before the throne of God and unleash the power of your testimony that overcomes that evil one with the blood of the Lamb.
What is you assignment? What is your testimony? Who are you?”
Suddenly Gatherer and Builder appear beside Uriel, the glory upon them so resplendent that it looks like boiling white fire. I cannot see their faces, I cannot see their eyes, but I can feel them looking at me with incredible expectation.
Me:
“I am a child of God with an assignment to the lost!”
Gatherer:
“NO!”
The bellow from this Angel gives me such a fright that I stumble backwards and look at the three messengers in confusion.
Gatherer:
“Don’t hide behind vague one liners son of sorrow. WHAT IS YOUR TESTIMONY?”
I can feel the heat lapping the air around me as the glory of God buffets me through these messengers. Years of disappointment, criticism, rejection, failure and traumatic emotional abuse hammer at my desire to open my mouth and say something but here before these messengers of heaven I feel like a fraud. The glory of God is rushing off them in waves now. It takes every drop of my will power to stay standing.
Now Builder steps forward and places his hand upon my heart.
“What is your testimony son of sorrow? What is you assignment? What is you thread?”
And he shoves me backwards with such force that I trip and land hard on my backside, skidding backwards before coming to a stop and allowing momentum push me over completely so that I am lying on my back.
I stand up warily and dust my hands off.
Me:
“I don’t need this humiliation from beings who are supposed to messengers from God, Just leave me be. I didn’t ask for these dreams or for this vision or any of it. Take your self righteous expectation somewhere else.”
Gatherer takes two steps so that he is right in front of me. The heat coming off his skin is so intense that I feel my skin start to burn and blister.
Gatherer:
“Who is this week, touchy coward before me? Where is the Courier who will defy mammon, bring judgement upon the selfish teachers and unite the uniters? You have not forgotten who you are because you have never known who you are. Tell us your testimony son of sorrow, show us the product of your ordered steps. Come forth from your cocoon of sickened heart and deferred hope. Stand now in the fullness of who you are because of who He is. Breath in the breath of God and speak the truth.”
My temper flares inside me and my mind works hard to overcome it, subdue it, silence it.
Gatherer watches my face through the fires of Glory upon his and speaks again.
Gatherer:
“You seek to control that which should be released.”
Me:
“My temper? My rage? My frustration with the selfishness of mankind?”
Gatherer:
“It will not come out of you as you think it will, let it go son of sorrow. Tell us who you are.”
He touches my heart and a wall drops.
Two decades of tempered rage suddenly snaps within my breast like it was nothing more than a twig. It floods out of me and emotion that I have not allowed myself to feel in twenty years boils out of me so severely that the tall grass around me is flattened by a violet wind that flows from my every pore.
Me:
“Who am I? I have led youth groups and led worship teams in some of the biggest ministries in Africa, I have trained and disciple musicians, directors, and producers. I have filled stadiums and beaches with crowds as far as the eye can see. I have healed the sick and set captives free by the sheer force of my will and led them to Christ even when I no longer believed in Him. I have directed massive stage play productions and directed full length feature films. I have defied powerful mentors and done what is right without care for consequence. I have pastored and shepherded and stayed standing through hell and brimstone while cowards withered around me. I have suffered persecution at the hands of evil, power hungry men of God and risen from the ashes of their vengeance. I have been destroyed, cut down and trampled into the mires of failure. I have lain in total defeat while pastors, brothers and the media make my defeat know to the public, and STILL I have risen in the face of persecution while my disciples fled into the world to hid away from the wrath of a heartless kingdom. I have cursed both God and Angel in my brokenness and yet still see visions and dreams to receive instruction. I have prophesied to thousands and discipled men and women who do the same. I have fed tens of thousands and united captains of hundred and thousands. I have done this in obscurity, sickened to my gut by the circus that is corporate Christianity, for the I no longer care for fame or notoriety. The opinions of man mean nothing to me. They are either servants of God or servants of Satan but we are all servants either way. I am unimpressed by the power of man for it is fleeting for I have wielded power over thousands and found it wanting.
The only power I believe in is the power of the gospel which is the power of God that leads to the salvation of man. For man is wicked and seeks his own. It is not the evil one from who man is saved but from man himself.
But none of what I have done has any meaning to me. It is dust under my feet. Worthless to me in anything other than a book of history lessons. None of it is of consequence because I have seen Godless heathens do more. I see the hand of God in some of what I have done but more I see the sheer force of my personality, sacrifice, discipline and talent in my achievement and the hatred, jealously, control and cowardice of my critics and enemies.

No, the only thing that I am grateful for is that God chose to break me away from that ambitious hunger for attention by breaking me. He pinned me to the ground and wrestled from me every personal ambition and humbled me so that all that matters to me is the fruit of the Spirit. The only achievement that brings me satisfaction is that I am happy. My testimony is that I do not deserve to have my name written in the Lamb’s book of life, yet there it is, plain for all to see. My ambitious striving and cold heart could not separate me from the love of God. And the greatest favor of man is worthless in comparison.

My assignment is to unite, to inform, to lead uniters by example. I am one of many catalysts of change. I am not the catalyst, I am a catalyst and this brings me much peace.
And even though a multitude will read these words, I care nothing for their criticism, rejection or approval. What is man but servant to God, Satan or self? We raise ourselves up in our own eyes and are shocked when God opposes our pride. All I desire is to be a good and faithful servant. Nothing else matters to me. The strategies and frustrations of man are clanging gongs and crashing cymbals in my ears. Their wisdom useless. I have seen their recipes and weathered the storms of their anger when I do not bend to their useless will.
There is only one God, only one teacher and only HE knows my blueprint.

I am deaf to the fear of man but I am alive to the words of the son. I am filled with a raging fire of faith that no circumstance can quell and this power of the Gospel, this good news within me is the only power that matters.
His kingdom is all. His will is supreme. My thread is His to control and I spit upon mammon and its wiles.
Those who are careful and selfish, guarding their wealth and piling up their storehouses are none of my concern, they will perish as their idols perish. But those who hear the voice of the great shepherd have my full attention. The uniters have my full attention and those who respond to the good news have my full attention.
It is no longer I that lives, wielding my religion as a false motive to mask my hunger for fame and power, it is now Christ who lives within me.
If he deems me worthy to fulfill this assignment, then I shall gladly fulfill it. If not, I gladly bow out. But until He instructs me differently, I shall walk through flames and sleep in the presence of Lions.”
The angels stand silently, regarding me through the white flames of glory that covers their faces.
Uriel steps forward and lays his hand upon my right shoulder.
Uriel:
“It is good that you have spoken thus son of sorrow. For you cannot hide the fullness of who you are to produce humility. Faith requires confidence and substance. Let all who read these words take note:
As you hunger to know who Christ is, so must you hunger to know yourself and love yourself. For if you do not accept yourself you cannot accept your assignment and you cannot fully grasp the absolute love that God has for you.
The kingdom is all son of sorrow!”
Gatherer:
“The kingdom is all.”
Builder:
“The kingdom is all!”
Me:
“The kingdom is all!”
I wake up.