Dream 281

I am in a large, brand new church. There must be about five thousand people worshipping God in an incredibly dynamic atmosphere.
The pastor preaches an incredibly motivating message and notices me even though I am sitting far at the back in a dimly lit section of the auditorium.
He stops preaching, looks straight at me and his face breaks out into a huge smile. I know that he is genuinely happy to see me there.
He continues to preach the word and I realize that I am sitting here shirtless, wearing nothing but pair of pyjama long pants that I wore to bed last night.
It doesn’t bother me and it does not seem to bother anyone around me.
Many people recognize me from my previous life in this world and excitedly greet me, not caring that I am here without a shirt.
At the end of the service, I am waiting to head out of the busy auditorium and the senior pastor makes his way through the crowd to get to me and give me a huge hug.
People clamour for his attention but he stays focused on me. I notice that a group of bodyguard type ushers have created a sort of barrier around us. It is very well done because to the outside eye it just looks like a group of men praying in a tightly packed circle around us.
Pastor:
“It is very good to see you! Are you back?”
Me:
“I would love to be.”
Pastor:
“Why don’t you come back? You don’t need to struggle to build a vision from scratch in a small town. I will help you do everything that is in your heart. You are supposed to be with me!”
Me:
“The thought has crossed my mind many times, but I am too weak for this environment.”
Pastor:
“Nonsense! You are one of the strongest people I know! Come back, I’ll take good care of you!”
Me:
“I’m too weak for this world boss. Last time it nearly killed me. I love you dearly and appreciate your love for me but you are surrounded by people who do not share your love for me.”
Pastor:
“Don’t worry about people, just do what you are called to do! You just need to toughen up a little. We are at war, you must toughen up a bit for war. Come back, I’ll make sure that people don’t bother you this time.”
Me:
“I’m sorry. I’m too weak.”
The disappointment in his eyes makes me very sad. He gives me a hug and heads back towards the stage with a lot of people clamouring for his attention. I too am surrounded by a lot people asking me if I’m back.
I also sad because I love this man and miss him.
Me:
“I wish I was stronger.”
I am back on the land beneath Michael’s calf. The caravan seems so dirty and the caravan tent so untidy and dusty.
The tent of prayer looks like a cheap hand-me-down and the container behind the caravan rusted and old.
The unfinished playground looks slapped together with unwanted crates and poles.
I become aware of the huge sacrifice that I have made. It exhausts me and I am overcome with a feeling of immense loss. I am so sad that I cannot even cry.
All I can do is sit there in the dusty winter grass and give myself over to the familiar emotional desert of depression.
Suddenly I hear someone stomping the grown behind me. I turn around and see the spirit of might walking towards me. As he walks, he lifts each leg comically high before stomping each foot into the ground as hard as he can.
He kicks up a lot of dust and by the time he arrives at where I am sitting, his once shiny armour is not shining anymore.
Might:
(laughing) “You are not weak Abdiel!”
Me:
“I am very weak! How much more could I not accomplish if I were able to handle the politics of corporate Christianity?”
Might:
“Ha! ‘Corporate Christianity’? That, my friend, is an Oxymoron!
Any family environment that forces you to ‘toughen up’ so that you do not get hurt emotionally is definitely not a Christian environment.
You could stick a million humans on Mars and you could still not call it earth. Mars is Mars regardless of how many earthlings move there and the kingdom of God is the kingdom of Love, no matter how many haters try to move there.
A Christian is someone who loves God and loves people. If you do not love one another, you are missing the boat completely.
Joy is strength Abdiel. An environment of might is an environment of joy.”
Me:
“Surely if I was a bit stronger I would be able to create an environment of joy within that corporate church environment?”
Might:
“For a time perhaps. But that world is not made for joy, it is made for results.
It would simply be a matter of time before they ripped the heart from you again.
People mean well with their demand for systems and protocols but the law brings death.
The Spirit brings freedom. Fools communicate without sensitivity and the wise bring freedom.
Do not despise these small beginnings Abdiel! You are creating an atmosphere that is filled with joy and freedom. Warn all you read what you record that joy and freedom must always be their highest priority! Without joy, you are weak.
Where there is no joy, people try to impress each other with false authority. They shout commands at each other and put down ultimatums of rejection and fear.
It takes more courage to create an environment of joy than it does to create an environment of earthly might.
You see, an environment of joy demands that you actually watch your tone of voice and communicate lovingly with people.
But that other corporate nonsense is hell on earth. There they speak to each other like trash, justifying their lack of love with results.
What they do not realize is that the Holy Spirit works despite them, not because of them.
But an environment of joy Abdiel! That is where I dwell!
If you are careful to create an environment of worship and wisdom, I, the spirit of might, will bring joy!
You must work hard to be gentle and considerate with each other. It takes more discipline to be considerate than it does to be a jerk.
The kingdom of heaven is not a place for rude people who do not discipline their tongues and their tone of voice. If you desire to wear the Christian label you should at least try to be nice to each other.
God loves it when there is excellence and professionalism but without love He is blind to your efforts. For God opposes the proud. He wants nothing to do with heartless people who know better than to act like bullies and brats. Nobody can claim ignorance in this. Nastiness is an act that requires you to violate the law that has been written upon your very heart!
I, Might, am the power of God that lifts you up from every failure and every humiliation. I am the joy of the Lord, I am your strength. But I only come to those who walk in love and wisdom.”
Me:
“I always thought that I was too sensitive, that I was emotionally weak and undependable.”
Might:
“By the standards of the mammonites you are very weak. But by the standards of heaven you are very strong. For those who harden their hearts are impressive only to other hardened hearts and those who work to love with compassion are as a fragrance to heaven.
Might and power in heaven are completely different to might and power on earth.
Might in the spiritual realm is all about love. Loving God, loving your brothers and sisters, and loving yourself. It takes a lot of strength to love Abdiel and you are very strong.
The pull that you feel from that corporate world is their hunger for your talent. For they love your talents but hate your heart.
The heart of the righteous is an abomination to the ambitious. For their measuring tool is money and power but the heart of the righteous measures everything by generosity of spirit.
You may feed a hungry man and treat him harshly. But know that you have fed him in the physical and starved his spirit. And God looks to see what you did in both realms.
You must love in both the realm of the flesh and the realm of the spirit.
Come Abdiel, look around this land once again and tell me what you see.”
I look around at the caravan, container and tent of prayer once more.
Me:
“I see the manifestation of God’s love through people. I see huge sacrifices made by people who could not afford them. I see a place that will grow, but no matter how big it grows it will always be these three humble structures.
For it was in the small beginnings that it was hardest for people to have faith, yet they gave of their blood and sweat to build the foundation of this vision and it shines as a beacon in the spiritual realm.
I see the foundation of love and wisdom, and now I see the foundation of joy.”
Might:
“Good. Now wake up, record our conversation and get some rest.”
I wake up.